Night Goblin Tengu no Yoru
by Pixieblade
Summary: AN: Part two of the Tobacco Road arc. Listen to Locking up the Sun by Poets of the Fall. -SanzoxGoku's story. ALL DONE!
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Night Goblin (Tengu no Yoru)**

Series: Saiyuki AU

Rating: M-for violence

AN: Part two of the Tobacco Road arc. Listen to _Locking up the Sun_ by Poets of the Fall. 

Ch. 1-

"But San~zo~!!!"

"No! Now shut the hell up! I swear, one more word out of you and I really will shoot you!"

Goku quieted down and slumped in his chair across from Sanzo's desk. The golden-haired monk noticed with growing agitation that he was equally pissed at Goku and himself. Quite frankly the whole situation pissed him off.

"What about tomorrow?"

"What the hell did I just say?!" he roared.

"But Hakkai said they have the shop all up and running now. I wanna see the kids, and Gojyo running around in a waiters outfit, we gotta see that! Come on Sanzo! I promise I'll be good the entire time we're there." Goku tried the puppy-eyes tactic, which always worked on Sanzo, even when he had the gun pointed at him, like now.

"Sit down and shut the HELL up now! We're not going to drive for three days just to see that dickwad cockroach!"

Goku was about to quip back that Hakkai and the kids would be there too, but something dark slipped behind Sanzo's eyes making him clamp his lips shut and swallow his retort.

He sat back in his chair as Sanzo slipped the banishing gun back into his sleeve and dropped his head, eyes surreptiously sliding over the monk's features. Lately he'd noticed Sanzo was becoming easier to anger, harder to calm down, and increasingly concerned with where and what Goku was doing almost 24/7. They'd even started sleeping in the same room, much to the other monks' annoyance.

Not that he was complaining about that part. He'd been trying to convince Sanzo to sleep with him for months, but nothing. It was actually starting to get really painful, being so close to him and yet still having that cold line between them. It really sucked.

The whole damn problem started right after Sanzo had gone with Hakkai and Gojyo up to the Sanbutsushin's temple a few months back. The two demons had come back full of smiles, but Sanzo hadn't come home until real late, way past nightfall. He'd been sitting up with Hakkai waiting when he'd finally come in, dead on his feet with dark smudges under his eyes. He'd looked like he'd just been hit.

Goku was about to run over to him when Hakkai had placed a warning hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Goku knew enough not to press the matter and left out the back way through the window and down across the garden. He'd been curled up in their bed when sometime around midnight Sanzo had slipped in.

He didn't lay beside him though, just stood over him in the shadows looking. Goku had pretended to be asleep when he'd walked in, and something about the soft sounds and quiet movements he was making made him stay that way, eyes screwed shut, body trembling he was trying to stay still so hard.

After a few minutes Sanzo sat heavily on the edge of the bed and ran a calloused finger across his forehead and through his hair, lightly fingering the golden diadem enmeshed in his chestnut brown hair. There was a slight catching sound, a choked off exclamation that was so faint he wasn't sure if he'd actually heard it or not, and then Sanzo was leaning over him, lips pressed lightly to his, hot, salty drops dripping on him from above.

And still he didn't move.

He wanted to. He was dying here, letting the man cry in front of him without doing anything, but he knew Sanzo, and he wasn't one to appreciate having others see him being 'weak', so he stayed still. When the priest had finally come to bed Goku shifted in his fiend sleep and curled around him, pressing in impossibly close, trying to comfort him without being obvious. As Sanzo's arms came around him and clung to him through the darkness of the night he let himself breathe, maybe it worked then. Maybe.

Since then every time he went somewhere Sanzo had asked where he was going. Eventually Goku had just started prefacing everything with, "Okay, I'm gonna go get something to eat in the kitchen, you want anything?" or "Gotta hit the head, be back in a minute." or "The weather looks nice, I think I'm gonna go sit in the Sakura tree." Anything to make the shadows dancing behind Sanzo's eyes fade just a bit.

But it was hard. Laying there at night trying to sleep and not being able to because Sanzo either clung so tightly it hurt, or he refused to touch him. Goku was starting to get so upset about it that he'd started skipping meals; he was down to only two or three a day instead of his usual nine.

He'd been laying in the shade under the Sakura tree when he felt it. He wasn't sure what _it_ was exactly, but it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, like a cold wind was blowing over him, even though there was no breeze that day. He sat up, or tried to anyways. Noticing an odd shifting he realized the entire garden was silent. And it smelled funny. Not bad, just, _off_.

The light shifted and everything was tinged in gold. Shadows moved closer towards him as he scrambled up onto his feet.

"Stay."

The word reverberated through the garden and his entire body trembled with the power behind it. Finding himself unable to move, he ground out between clenched teeth, "Who are you?"

"I am you. The you that is still growing." A talk golden demon came materialized out of the shadows. Golden eyes and diadem glittered in the sunlight as soft white cherry blossom petals drifted lazily from overhead.

"Seiten Taisei Son Goku." he breathed.

"Yes. The you from before, the one who has been left sleeping, waiting until you are ready, or I am needed."

"I don't need you. I'm fine by myself." he pouted, lower lip pushed out defiantly.

"You don't have a choice. Eventually you will become me and this persona will fade into memories and dust."

"Why?! I have friends here, family! Why can't you leave and I stay, why does it have to be me?" Goku was shaking in frustration, he remembered the past, the reasons he was kicked out of heaven for, twice.

The Great Sage kneeled beside his younger self and ran a clawed hand over his shaggy mop of hair.

"This you and this me cannot exist at the same point in time, it is hard, and it is painful, but that is the way of things."

"So I have to die?" he was sniffling now, like he'd just been told his favorite pet had died.

"No, we will become one, that is the truth of this body, when we are both needed, when there is a point where your consciousness and heart needs my mind and powers, then we will have to become one, I do not know what will cause that, and I do not know which of us will become the dominant personality, but _we_ will have to be strong to survive it." he smiled, though it looked more menacing coming from him for some reason, maybe it was all the fangs.

Goku looked up at him as he rose to leave, "When it comes time, will I remember everything? Will you?"

"When it is time, the whole of the universe will be made open to us. That is the other truth, we will become what we were meant to be, the truth of our birth, Bastard Child of Heaven and Earth, more powerful than either, protector of both."

The shadows rose up to swallow him then, dark hands that brought him back into their fold, caressing and protecting him as he slid back into the darker sections of Goku's mind and soul. He was left staring out over the garden as the gold faded to the normal light of midday. He remembered this time. Since he'd come back with everyone from heaven he remembered all the times he'd been the powerful demon, and it terrified him.

Sometimes, if he was woken from a dream or a noise, he'd look at his hands and see claws dripping with blood and flesh, stringing mats of torn muscle and skin, an oozing pile of tattered soft tissue laying underneath him and he'd remember that it'd been Sanzo's body and his hands, and he'd scream into the night until Sanzo would shake or slap him back into consciousness. He'd cry then, clinging to Sanzo and refusing to let go or answer the questions that were way too kind for him to want to hear. He didn't want to remember some things.

***

Ch. 2-


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2-

The day was hot and sweltering. Full summer was on them and much to Sanzo's annoyance, the temple had refused to put in air-conditioning, so he was forced to lay in the darkest place he could, the innermost sanctum of the temples' prayer rooms. Curled up on the cool wood he listened to the cicadas and the clanking of ice melting in his lemonade. The light snore to his left would be Goku; stupid monkey was like his shadow these days.

A frown slipped over his delicate features; for once it had been him clinging to the younger man, holding on for dear life while frantically trying to disavow the entire situation. He leaned back and slid black-clad hands under his head, staring up at the ceiling he thought back to his meeting with the Three Aspects several months ago….

***

"Genjo Sanzo, we wish to speak with you further, please stay."

_Shit_. As Hakkai and Gojyo wandered out, smiles plastered across their faces, shoulders lightly brushing, he mentally kicked himself, anytime the three heads wanted to talk to him alone shit had hit the fan and he was left cleaning up after it. He kneeled soundlessly and crushed his cigarette out under his sandal.

"Yes, my Lords."

"We are growing concerned with you charge."

"You just told those two morons what to do, what's the problem?"

"Not those two, Son Goku."

"Goku? That empty-headed, bottomless pit of a child? He's annoying, but he's harmless."

"He may be harmless, but his true self is not." "Seiten Taisei Son Goku, the Great Sage. His awakening is nearing, we can feel his power flowing stronger around you, and even now your own aura is being tainted with his."

"I'm able to control him."

"You won't be for long." "That is correct, his power when fully released is too strong, even for one who holds both the sutra's of Evilness and Holiness."

"You've got to be kidding me. How much stronger is the little monkey going to get?"

"We do not know, but his true form could topple heaven if he so desired. The older he gets the more powerful he will become and the less able you will be able to control him." "Especially if you get any closer than you are now."

"What do you mean?"

"You have always been his central point of reference, something of a father figure to him, but these changes over the last few years, friendship and love, these emotions cloud your judgment. If this continues, you will only have two options: kill him or be killed by him."

Sanzo just sat there staring at the Sanbutsushin, "No."

"Genjo San..."

"No."

Sanzo stood and turned on his heel, glancing back over his shoulder he tapped out a cigarette and lightly pressed it to his lips, "That stupid ape will never go against me. _Ever_. He doesn't know how."

Turning, he stalked out of the temple and down the mountainside.

***

Sanzo turned over onto his side and lay looking at Goku. When he was sleeping like this, small snores and mumbling about food, it was hard to take the three heads seriously.

"Yeah right, like he'd ever try and kill me. Maybe if I stopped feeding him or something." He murmured and reached out a delicate hand, gently brushing the auburn strands away from his eyes.

"Just stay by my side, even a bakasaru like you can do that, can't you?" Sanzo whispered into the fading afternoon light. Curling in closer to the smaller body, he didn't shrug off the touch as strong fingers twined in his, the muggy afternoon heat settling over them like a warm blanket.

***


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3-

The yelling woke me up. First thing in the fucking morning and those fucking pricks, "Didn't you take a fucking vow of silence or something!"

My head is throbbing as I stumble out into the hall, half dressed and in desperate need of coffee and a smoke, stupid old man and his bad habits, who the hell makes a monk smoke?! "What the hell is it now?!"

"Sanzo-sama, Sanzo-sama!!" I think I know my own name, thank you, who else would you be screeching for?

"It's your charge!" head's up with that one, after this many years they still don't say his name, pricks.

"Oh, fucking fabulous..."grinding my teeth together I kneel by his side and gently reach out to touch his forhead. I knew something was up, he'd stopped eating, didn't think I'd noticed, *Tsk* "Moron."

"You five, carry him into my room." Their scared to touch him, but there's no way I'm breaking my back for a moron that goes and gets himself sick. I don't even have to say anything, there's a certain look I've perfected for dealing with stubbornness, of course it doesn't work on three specific hard-headed asses, well, two asses and one monkey, but it works just fine on annoying wanna-be monks. See? Works just fine.

I can't help but smile, just a tad, a small twitch of the lips, as they try and pick him up and ah, now they're getting it, freaking thing's a goddamn boulder when he's unconscious. He's not wearing the chains he had when I found him. _Mo~r~ons!_ Great, now even my brain's starting to sound like him.

I gotta get out of here before I go batty. "You two, bring water and call for Hakkai, we don't know what'll happen if that fever gets too high." Smart-asses, think I didn't notice the smirks at not being called to help carry him? I'll run you through the ringer for that one. Humble monks my ass.

They finally have him up on the bed, _my bed_, stupid chimp. As they scamper away I prod him with my foot, taking the time to sit back and lean out the window and take a drag. It looks like it'll be a two pack day; I can already feel my blood pressure raising.

Glancing at the door, closed, good, "Bakasaru...I told you, you're not allowed to leave me." Leaning over, the briefest of contacts, just a glancing touch, maybe a little bit harder, not like he's awake or anything. I stop hard, noses almost touching and blink, when did this start? When did I not only _allow_ contact, but start to crave it?

I refused to have the other monks touch me, went out of way to beat that idiot cockroach senseless when he dared to drape his arm over my shoulders, Hakkai's the only one, but only when he was healing, even those two little brats shied away from me, mostly. So why? Why is it _he's_ allowed when no one else is?

Sitting back I look over the garden, is this what you meant master? When you heard me calling out to you, is this what you meant by we were family? You were the only one back then I let touch me as well, a gentle pat on the head, hand on the shoulder, nothing much, never anything too deep, but it was enough to show you cared, that you worried about my well being.

_Shit_. Fine. Fine! I give up, I know the only reason he's allowed is because it's him. No one else, but him. "Fuck it all."

I don't even notice when the water's set inside the room, I'm too busy leaning over him, holding him and telling him if he even dares to die on me I'll kick his ass all the way back to India.

"Bakasaru..."

***


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4-

There's a burning heat running down his throat, clawed fingers pawing at the sensation, ripping flesh before he notices it, and then it's a vain attempt to stop the ocean, like a finger in a dam.

"Sa..n..zo..." his mouth's open and he's panting heavily, like it hurts to breathe and then he's glaring up through sweat matted mousy hair with slitted golden cat's eyes and Sanzo's sucking in his breath, steeling himself for the worst, completely knocked off his feet when those eyes only blink at him trying to focus and his name comes out in a raspy whisper, torn from dry lips like a prayer to the gods.

"Seiten Taisei Son Goku."

"San...zo..."

"Why are you awake?"

"The fever. It's the beginning." A ragged breath follows the cryptic remark and he's closing the distance between them, creeping steadily closer until those clawed hands are clasping his and the eyes are burning orbs in the darkness of the night.

"The...Night Goblin...Tengu no Yoru...he's coming, soon, soon we will have to fight him. This body...must grow-up, the diadem...must be taken away, I must be allowed to mix with him, or we will all die. San~zo~, please, you must...trust us...you must...or we will both die...everything...will end in darkness..." Goku's slight body is shaking, hemorrhaging as his eyes slip backwards into his skull and the limp body rolls his head, unable to support its own weight.

Sanzo reached out and grasped the young man to his chest, calling out Goku's name, rocking him back and forth as the darkness descended on them both. Anger and frustration boiling over as he fingered the golden diadem still tangled in his hair. _The Three Aspects were right then, at least to some extent. Shit._

"So what do we do now, Saru? What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

***

Sanzo had dark smudges under his eyes and the foulest temper Hakkai had ever been witness to when he arrived late the following afternoon.

"Well, it _is_ a three day journey that I managed in less than two, Sanzo." His voice was reproving as he followed the sullen monk back to his room to check on Goku.

Kneeling by the edge of the bed he carefully wiped the damp hair back with his hand and frowned.

"Sanzo, has anything odd happened during this sickness?"

"Only if you count his other side showing up last night." He tapped a cigarette out roughly, agitation souring the words as they dispersed like venom into the small room.

"I thought so. What did he do?"

"He came to talk."

"What?"

"Like I said..." Sanzo pushed off from the doorframe and wandered to the edge of the bed, looking down at Goku's pinched face, a fevered flush high up on his cheeks, "...fucker came to talk."

"About what exactly?" Hakkai repetitively dipped the small cloth into the small bowl of water, rung it, flipped it open, and finally applied the cloth to Goku's stomach. Sanzo's eyes following the fluid movements as if it were a ballet set out for him alone.

"End of the world shit as usual. What the hell did I do to deserve all this?" running his gloved hand through the glimmering blonde hair he turned away from the disturbingly erotic scene and stared out the window. He would _not_ let his body or mind start to think that way.

"Well, if it were anyone other than Goku, with a fever this high, I wouldn't have much faith that he'd come back." Sanzo swung around, grabbing Hakkai's shirt collar and wrenching the man forward with deadly intent.

Hands up, Hakkai slipped into his pacifist look, "As I said if this were anyone _other_ than Goku. Luckily, his body can take a lot, but if you'll look here..." he waited patiently for Sanzo to release him, a flick of his wrist and a small *tsk* followed by soft footfalls telling him the ornery monk was doing exactly what he wanted.

Leaning over he gently brushed Goku's bangs away from the edge of the diadem, "You see the cracks? I think the fever is the flow of demon power leaking out and over his skin. He's trying to incorporate it into his body, but it's hard."

He glanced over his shoulder and sighed, "Think about it like he's going through puberty. All this power is raging within him and he's mentally trying to take a cold shower, to help bring everything back into balance."

Sanzo nodded and met his eyes, "So what do we do about it?"

Stretching, the healer shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't think there is anything we can do for him. his powers are too strong for me to interfere with, and taking the diadem off entirely might break him. He's not in any danger at the moment, but I think it'll only get worse. Have you talked to the Sanbutsushin yet?"

A short bitter bark of laughter ripped through him, "Hypocritical pricks told me to kill him."

Hakkai looked shocked, "What?! Are they serious?"

"Of course they're serious; their answer to anything that even smells off is to kill it."

"But this is Goku we're talking about!"

Hakkai drew back like he'd been bitten, Sanzo had several versions of his 'annoyed' face, but he'd never seen such a dark look about the man before. Dipping his head slightly he glanced back at the sleeping Goku and shuddered. The powerful aura he'd felt when he came in wasn't just the young man laying there helplessly, but the man standing over him, whose hands were clenched so tight as to draw blood from his palms.

"I'll stay the night then, just to keep an eye on him."

"No."

"Sanzo?"

"No. I don't want you mixed up in this Hakkai. Go home, back to your family. I'll take care of mine."

The green-eyed healer opened and shut his mouth, brain working on overdrive, "Very well. Replace the compresses whenever they get too dry and try to keep him warm. I leave it to you then."

With that Hakkai slipped out of the room like dissipating smoke, leaving Sanzo to fall heavily to his knees, eyes glued to the pale face. "Puberty, huh? What a load of shit." His voice was strained and hoarse, yes bloodshot and stinging; all he wanted was to sleep.

_Sleep._ The words were mumbled in his mind, a slight twitch that could be a squeeze if he shut his eyes and gave in to the part of him that was desperate for this to be over with.

_Sleep._ A deeper voice this time and he recognized it as the other Goku, the one that made something inside of him quiver in response.

He snapped back at the voices, _You first._ One voice in his head was enough, thank you very much, he didn't need another one.

A gentle rumbling in stereo followed him into the darkness.

***


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5-

The following week must have been the precursor to the Apocalypse. Ask anyone in the temple or visiting and they'd say the Buddha had come down from Heaven and boy was he pissed! Sanzo stomped around the temple, eyes scowling, his 'evil fan from hell', as it had been nicknamed, snapping out at the slightest sound or movement. Towards the end the entire wing his room was in became a ghost town, a no-man's-land, a demilitarized zone where a fuming, short-tempered, irritable demon in the form of a man stalked the battlements just waiting to attack.

Basically, Sanzo was in a bad mood.

Not sleeping or eating, surviving on cigarettes and anger alone, he was a wreck. He'd pace back and forth during the day, throw papers around his office, kick random, innocent chairs, and then collapse back by Goku's side as night slipped across the horizon. He was starting to think he was becoming two separate people, the daytime Sanzo and the nighttime one.

Taking his usual spot on the ground by Goku's shoulder he propped his elbow on the lip of the bed and pushed his hair back out of his eyes. "Night Goblin...what the hell are you talking about, stupid?" he reached out with his free hand and brushed back the strands of Goku's hair that constantly fell across the diadem.

"Three more." Fingering the small cracks he did a mental check; that made twelve altogether. If they kept up this pace, the limiter would snap by midweek. He'd asked the Sanbutsushin what to do if it broke, they said to kill him before it did, and he'd flicked them off and stalked out. He sighed inwardly, at this rate he'd come back as a bug in his next life.

"Sa..n..zo..." his head snapped up, it was soft, so terribly soft, but...

"San...zo..." crawling to his knees he crouched over the supine form and smiled, actually smiled, he didn't know he could still do that.

"Goku?"

"Your...face..is...wet..w..hy? Sanzo?" his voice cracked and broke, he tried again and then gave up; it didn't matter really.

Sanzo chocked back a rough gasp and reached down hesitantly, running tentative fingers across brow and cheek, over cracked lips. Soft golden eyes peered up at him, a strength and subtle knowledge behind them he didn't remember seeing before.

"Goku..." Sanzo gave in to the voice in his head, not Goku's, but the other one, the one that had been clawing it's way to the surface of his thoughts over the past seven-day, the one that had been feeding his anger and short temper, the one that was thinking, not his normal 'I'll kill you' thoughts, but of how he really could physically destroy some of the ambling, annoying monks wandering the halls.

_Shut up. Shutupshutupshutup!_ He stilled the voice by pressing his lips against Goku's, the bright amber eyes going wide with shock, then soft, melting at the contact and not caring why he had done it, just that he had.

Sanzo sighed into his mouth, it was like raw silk, strong, smooth, but still soft and yielding, he'd never felt anything like it before. He almost wanted to drown in it and wondered briefly if that was possible, to drown in a kiss. _Nonononononono!!!_ This was wrong, he should _not_ be doing this, not him, and not to Goku of all people.

Pulling back roughly he shied away from the hurt look and questioning eyes that followed him.

"You still have a fever, go back to bed."

"You're lying. I'm not sick and I never was."

Sanzo refused to look at him as he sat on the edge of the bed and wiped one black clad hand across his mouth, flush running high in him as he attempted to stomp down the raising heat in his body.

"If you weren't sick what do you call that?" his eyes flashed as he jerkily prodded the cracked diadem on his forehead.

Goku crossed his eyes trying to see his own forehead and then smiling rakishly, ran a hand across the metal, a frown of concentration furrowing his brow as he traced several long cracks.

"Hmmm...guess he was right then."

"Who?"

"My other self."

"You say that like it's an everyday occurrence!"

Goku bit down on his thumb and chewed lightly; cocking his head to the side he looked up at Sanzo and beamed, "Yeah. I guess so!"

"You..." Now it was Sanzo's temperature that was up!

Crawling across the bed, shirt hanging open as the dried washcloth fell limply to the covers, forgotten in the moment, Goku rested against Sanzo's back. His anger forgotten in an instant.

"Hey, Sanzo..."

"What?"

"When I was sleeping, you took care of me?"

"So what?" he ground out.

"Hey...I had a dream."

"What?"

"Yeah, it wasn't like the last one though, this one was scary."

Sanzo pushed back and let his arms hang loosely by his sides.

"It was just a dream though, right?"

"I don't know. It felt real somehow. I could still hear you, both of you, but there was another voice, it kinda sounded like you, but all scary and dark like. I didn't like it at all."

"Stupid. Dreams can't hurt you."

"Hey, Sanzo?"

"What now?"

"Can we try that again?"

Sanzo choked on invisible tea, "I...I don't know what you're talking about. Go back to bed."

"Unh-unh, don't wanna."

"Why?"

"Because it's cold by myself."

"Fine."

"What?"

"Fine, just for tonight though, you might still have a fever and Hakkai told me to keep you warm."

Goku's face split into the most dazzling smile he'd ever seen and it took all his willpower not to slam his tongue down his throat at the sight.

As Goku settled himself in against him, curling up like a cat by the fire he drew lazy lines down his arm, lightly brushing the chestnut hair back from his eyes.

"Hey, Sanzo?"

He breathed out; _I have to teach him a new line or something_. "Yes?"

Blunt fingernails slipped cautiously over the tight line of his stomach.

"I really wanna do that thing you were doing before. Please?"

He stopped breathing, watching as Goku blinked rapidly several times and then remembered breathing was good, that you needed to breathe, or things like death happened and that wasn't so much fun.

Goku smiled softly and leaned in, pulling himself part-way across Sanzo's chest as he murmured happily, "Like this?" and pressed his lips against the older man's.

The rest of the night was a blur. After the initial shock wore off Sanzo had instantly flipped the young man and hungrily captured his mouth, pressing his entire length against the small compact body and groaning into his mouth as groins collided and flesh was trapped between their owners.

He'd ran hands and mouth everywhere then, letting the voice in his head run rampant with his body, moving arms and legs at will, stilling the panting form with scorching kisses and then everything tore and shredded around them, finally closer and warmer than they'd ever been apart.

After that it was as if a deep thumping drum was calling out for them from the wilderness, flesh, skin, pulses, blood, heartbeats and breath, everything was in tune with the beat and he could feel it pounding through his very soul, letting something primal be ripped from his throat.

As light enveloped them his first thought was _that was fucking amazing_, the next thought was _oh shit_. _Fuckfuckfuck!_ Holding Goku's arms over his head had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now...he snarled, wait, why would he snarl at Goku? But this wasn't Goku, not completely.

"Shit."

A smile full of fangs and fierce eyes glittered back at him before he was pulled forward and those sharp teeth sank effortlessly into the soft skin of his neck; a long tongue snapping out to draw a hot, moist line across the tiny pinpricks, lapping at the tiny beads of blood welling up from them.

"San...zo..." his eyes snapped open. That was Goku's voice, just barely, just the familiarity in it, everything else was the Sage, but fuck the sound reverberated through him, drew him in.

There was a growl bubbling up within the body holding him as it suddenly arched its back and he could _feel_ the shiver run down it. As he watched, Goku rolled his head in an exaggerated circle, the bones popping creepily, he then rolled his shoulders, and Sanzo gasped as his hips did the same. All the way down to his toes, it was like a cat stretching after a long nap and he realized a bit too late that Goku had just, _fuck, did he just grow?_

"Hey, Sanzo?" a lazy amber eye looked him over, running a long clawed hand across the chaos marking on the tight skin of his abdomen.

"Goku?"

"Hmmm...maybe, maybe not. We're still working it out, but I got a great idea and he wants to try it too."

"I'm pretty sure anything you two come up with I'm not going to like much."

"Nah, I think you might, besides, it'll be easier this way." He smiled up at Sanzo and dragged him down into the mattress while surging past him, digging one clawed hand into his shoulder, the other gripping his hip almost painfully while he slipped behind him, the feel of silky skin slipping over his sending small trembles of sensation running across his body.

"See..." the seductive purr in his ear startled him, "I told you, you'd like it, thanks to your lack of control I was able to come out sooner than expected, maybe I can return the favor, maybe we can bring out whatever it is you've been repressing for so many years."

A hot lick up his neck had him groaning, the sharp nibble on his ear had the blood pooling in his groin and then there was pressure, blinding hot intense pressure that made him scream Goku's name and thrash wildly beneath him as he was pounded into the hard mattress, a strong hand wrapped around burning flesh, bringing him to the breaking point over and over again.

As Goku followed him into the light his eyes rolled back slightly and there in the monochrome shades of his vision he saw the moon, a dark, lifeless void in the sky, and he fell completely into its dark embrace. Demented laughter following behind him.

***


	6. Chapter 6

Ch. 6-

Waking up sucked. He was sore and angry and dammit all if that bastard wasn't sitting there at the edge of their bed looking all smug and shit.

"You awake yet?"

He just glared at the demon.

"I'm still getting use to this form, my brains still fuzzy, sometimes it's him, sometimes it's me. He said it'll take a while to completely integrate our personalities."

Sanzo's eyes went wide at the word choice, "'Integrate'? Who are you, Hakkai?"

Goku looked at him puzzled for a minute, "Who?"

Now Sanzo did sit up, wincing as his back protested the sudden movement, "Hakkai, you know, green bastard that's shagging the cockroach? Healer? Vine covered demonic s.o.b. that has an issue with kitchen knives?"

"Ah! The glasses guy!" he dropped his fist into his open hand and grinned like Goku, all the while sounding like the Sage.

"Fucking hell."

"Sanzo, I wanted to talk to you actually."

"What about?"

Goku just pointed. Looking down at the bare arm Goku was pointing at, he stifled a cry. The entire appendage had gone a smoky grey color, only the nails were still white.

"What the hell!" throwing the covers back, he sighed, at least nothing else was black.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier!?" he stomped from the bed and gathered up his clothes, gritting his teeth at the onslaught of pain running through him.

"Oh, you probably shouldn't do anything before taking a hot shower; your muscles will tense up."

"Shut up you Bakasaru! How long were you going to wait before pointing this out anyways?"

Goku's eyes narrowed and Sanzo took a deep breath; he'd forgotten this wasn't only Goku he was talking to.

"He." _Shit_. "He tried to tell you when we noticed it last night. You had stopped moving and were staring at the new moon after we had climaxed." Sanzo flinched at the cold detachment that sluiced over him.

The Sage slipped from his perch on the edge of the bed frame, _holy shit, had he been hanging on with his claws alone for the entire time?_ Sanzo backed up warily. The Sage reached down and lightly wrapped two strong fingers around his wrist, raising the offending appendage between them.

He sniffed lightly and then stared deeply into Sanzo's eyes. "Come, we must speak to the Sanbutsushin now."

"What? Why?" he yanked hard, trying to pull his arm back when a feral growl slipped out of his mouth, the Sage's eyes narrowed as he dropped the arm, disgust dripping out of his mouth.

"Never mind, it's too late now."

Sanzo was about to ask what he meant when a searing pain ripped up his arm and across his chest, igniting every nerve end. In his agony he screamed, a sound ripped from the deepest pits of hell. Clutching his head in his hands he fell to his knees in pain.

Before his eyes slipped closed he saw the bare feet of the Sage walking towards him, he thought he saw tears hitting the floor, no, never mind, it didn't matter, nothing mattered now. All he could see was the darkness, all he could feel was the cold, and all he could hear was that manic laughter filling his head, and for a moment he thought, _oh, that's my voice, isn't it_? It comforted him slightly to hear a low voice above him whisper sadly, "Yes". At least he wasn't crazy then. That's good.

***


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7-

It was raining when he came to again. What an odd sensation, he was certain that it was cold, the rain almost icy as it pelted against his skin, but he couldn't feel it. No, that's not right. He could feel it, he just didn't care.

A snarl escaped his lips as he looked around the room. The tile floor was smooth, cool to the touch, the normal sunshine that would flit in through the open doorways were dark and heavy with the freezing rain. He smiled, liking the sodden darkness and the dripping of water polluting this holy place.

"Genjo Sanzo." The voice boomed through the room, screaming he tried to cover his ears, only to find that he couldn't move and glared up at the three glowing heads.

"No, you are no longer the Genjo Sanzo that serves this temple."

"Foul beast, why have you let him live?"

"You call me that again, _my lords_, and I will show you just how much of a beast I can be." A snarl from his left caused him to strain against his restraints, the blood lust curling up into his chest.

"See, now you've angered him." the faint padding of bare feet came closer.

The Sage hunched down, looking at him with something between pity and sadness and anger mixed on his face.

"He's not completely gone yet."

"He is tainted; he cannot be allowed to live."

"According to you lot everyone down here is 'tainted,' you plan on wiping us all out?"

_Goku_. His brain, or heart, something in his body twanged in recognition of the voice; the flowing aura that went back and forth between scalding hot and comfortable warmth.

"This man will destroy us all thanks to you."

"Hey now," Standing, the Goku/Sage walked back towards the heads, out of his line of sight, but he could still hear, "I was going to come out one way or another, just be happy the boy is stronger than he looks and we're almost done melding."

"You are an abomination that should never have been born. You were cast out from heaven twice for your sins!"

"Yeah, and now here you are looking to me to save your asses. Can't take care of one of your own so you make the 'tainted-one' fix the mess you've caused. What I can't figure out is why you locked him up down here in a human body instead of keeping up there where you could watch him?"

"He is _Darkness_." It was almost a hiss the way she said it.

"Daikokuten was banished from Heaven because of what he is. 'The Great Black One,' he is the absolute reality of man, the all encompassing and all consuming nature of the new moon."

"Nirguna." He murmured.

"Correct, we cannot have someone whose sole purpose is to destroy and restart the world in Heaven, he could be used for personal gains."

"Sounds like you shipped him off to keep him out of your own political messes. But now you've got him down here and in possession of both the sutras of Holiness and Evilness. So my lords," he hopped up on the edge of a banister and smiled, "What are you going to do about him? Those restraints won't hold long you know. This is just the surface of his powers and it looks like he's in a grumpy mood as well. Sanzo never was much of a morning person and he hasn't had a smoke in hours, let alone coffee."

"You must kill him."

Goku coughed, "Excuse me?" eyes narrowing to slits he stood, the force of his chi rippling across the floor in visible waves.

"Now wait a minute. I may be charged with protecting both realms, but I will not kill that man! And as much as part of me cringes at saying it, _you can't make me_." He stared at the Three Aspects defiantly, the part that was still a petulant child pouting inwardly.

"You don't have a choice Sage. If you are to be allowed to live, then he must die."

"Screw you." Their shocked faces reminded him who they were and he mentally shut Goku's mouth. "Pardon, but that's not your decision, if you could kill him yourself you would have, but you can't 'dirty' your own hands in this matter, so you're trying to get me to do it. Sorry, but unless he threatens this world I'm just going to sit back and watch."

The three looked at each other, "Fine. If he threatens this world or the Upper World..."

His voice became cold and detached, "Then _we_ will stop him."

With that he turned on his heel and grabbing Sanzo's restraints roughly, stomped out into the rain.

***

Leaving the Temple of the Raising Sun, he fumed, _how dare they try and get him to kill Sanzo?!_ If there was anyone he wanted to kill right now it was those three hypocritical bastards.

"Sanzo, if you're in there, you need to fight this. If you can bring the human side back, they will let you live, but this..." he set the semi-mad monk atop a crumbling wall and kneeled in the rain and mud, "you cannot stay this way, it is breaking him to watch you like this, and at this rate he really will lose his mind."

He took a chance then and gently kissed the blonde man, hissing as he pulled back, blood trickling down his chin. "Then that's it. You are already gone, aren't you?"

Sanzo, no Daikokuten, he needed to remember, this was no longer the man he loved, this was the Lord of Darkness and he needed to treat the situation as such. The air crackled as the restraints shattered, splinters of light bursting against the murky sky. He stepped back as the full power of the fallen God washed over everything for a mile. Trees twisted, buildings crumbled, the entire city of Chang'An was effected in some way.

He'd dispersed, blocked, or absorbed much of the power, but not all. Looking at his redden hands he realized he might actually be out powered this time. The thought both shocked and terrified him. Then a brash voice screamed in his head making him smile.

"Well then, it looks like Goku thinks we need to hit you with a large paper fan, something about payback for all the times he's been hit. He's rather serious about it you know?"

*Ungh!* he grunted as the first wave of power spiraled out from Sanzo's hands, hitting him hard. Clawed feet dug into the soft earth as he was pushed back slightly.

"Well, that wasn't very hospitable of you. If you want to play it this way, then show me your true form first, we should be on equal footing if we are to dance like this." Sweeping out an arm he watched warily as Daikokuten raised his hand toward the heavens.

There was something eerie about the way his one good arm was raised, and then he saw the faint outline, the evolved staff of pure silver that twisted out from his palm, the four loops jangling together melodically as he swept it down, his robes shifting like the moonlight until he was enshrouded in black flowing cloth, a single sheet of tattered white draped across his arm and shoulder, held on by several gilded clasps and buckles.

_Shit_. Alright, this time he agreed with Goku, they were in serious trouble here. But he had a duty, even if everyone else dismissed him, he must still stop this threat. Daikokuten was a god, he was not, but he was close. _We're fine, just don't let him touch us, we have to get close, or he'll kick our asses with his long-range attacks. This is still Sanzo after all, he hates getting his hands dirty and that's something we're good at!_

He smiled, he was starting to like this side of his other self, the brash unflinching confidence that refused to believe they'd be beaten. But he was slightly outnumbered here, they still weren't completely whole, and as long as their minds stayed fractured, so would their power. _Just go for it, leave the fighting to me and just try to get around him, if we can pin his arms we might have a chance to talk him down. _

'I don't think that will work anymore, the Sanzo you knew is no longer, this man is now a God, and a very powerful one at that.'

_Nah. I can still smell him, even under all that darkness._

'All I can smell is the darkness; he is like the nightshade flower, full of passion and suffering, an angel of destruction, harbinger of closure and enlightenment.'

_I guess. You're the enlightened one, all I know is that I can still smell Marlboro's and steel dust, you know, __Sanzo__; and if I can still smell him, he should still be able to hear us, even if it is just a whisper on the wind, we have to reach him._

'Yes, he cannot be allowed to destroy the world. So young one, should we cast our burdens' down and shuck off these mortal coils for the sake of the world?'

_Only if those are things we can beat him senseless with._

Flexing his claws he smiled, 'Very well then, let us finish this.'

An unholy roar sprung forth from his mouth as he raced forward, claws struck metal and cloth, but mostly air. He was fast, most couldn't track him, but Daikokuten was always just beyond his reach. Power rippled across the land, the earth was torn and flung wide and far, between the heaving ground and mind numbing aerial acrobatics that left him dizzy and breathless he fought on.

He fought for his friends and family, Gojyo and Hakkai, Kai and Mao; he fought for once enemies, Koujagi's team; he fought for all the people he'd met along the way; he fought for all those he hadn't been able to save; for those that didn't know he was fighting; but mostly he fought for himself, for his love and for the man who was the sun and moon to him.

***


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8

Somewhere in the darkness Sanzo slept. His slumber was not calm or warm, he felt agitated, like someone kept calling to him, trying to force him to wake up before he had to. It was annoying. He felt the flare up of murderous rage and calmly wondered why? Why was he sleeping, why was he angry, why was someone screaming in his head, and why was there another voice that drifted in, a faint smell like sun warmed earth lightly filling his nose?

_Goku._

He felt the coil of uncertainty tightening in his gut. The wrenching pull of something horribly wrong and yet not quite completed, a test he was failing, but could possibly squeak by with a passing grade on if he could just find the right answer.

_Goku._

His answer was out there. Out in the rain he could now feel dripping into his solitude. This dark and soundless abyss where thought and feeling fled, it had left his body and soul drifting aimlessly, but no more. Cracks began to fracture the surface, a blinding whiteness that slipped in, as if on the other side of this self-made prison someone had locked up the sun.

_Goku._

He'd have to break down these walls, search for the sun and then he remembered. He remembered another prison, a hand reaching out to him through the darkness, but now he was the one trapped, his hand reaching up, nails clawing up to the surface. He had to find it again, if but for a moment. Those smiling eyes that could be deadly or loving, the lust filled ones only he was allowed to see. He had to make it for the both of them.

_Goku._

When he finally managed to make it, he noticed the air was thick with blood and power, not the majority of which was his own. Seiten Taisei was wounded, several horribly deep gashes across his chest, like claw marks. Glancing down at his hands, the deep crimson glared up at him and he gasped. They were soiled with his blood and their unspoken hopes-dreams left to fall like his unshed tears-they became ash in his mouth.

_Goku._

As the rain lashed his skin violently, the Heaven's raging their fury on the Lower World, Seiten Taisei hurled himself at the God, leaping over backwards at the last second to land behind him, Sanzo's control slipped slightly as strong hands gripped his shoulders in a crushing move. He smiled softly, fighting the other entity in his mind with every last ounce of his power, gasping wetly as Goku plunged his hand through his back. There was sky and flashing lightning, then there was the ground, a golden, clawed hand holding a beating red heart. His heart, he'd finally managed to give Goku his heart.

"Go...ku..." blood gurgled down his chin as he fell bonelessly.

His last thought that he never wanted to see those haunted eyes staring back at him, the ghost of his self-doubt and fears, because he knew that he'd just shattered that fragile heart with his deceptions. He never wanted to see those golden tears as they fell hotly across his neck and back, an ear-splitting cry gouged out of a horribly damaged heart and soul. He didn't want to see the one he loved break like this.

He didn't.

***

AN: Don't yell at me, I'm not done yet!!! You! Stop throwing cabbage at me!


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9

The ground was shaking. He couldn't think, all he felt was the hot pulse of a dying heart, his, Sanzo's, it didn't matter anymore, if all he would ever see again was the dark moon and Sanzo's blood staining his skin leaking in and driving him mad...he'd rather die right there.

The drum of rain against his skull was deafening, the voice calling out to him, the steady, secure, sane part of him fighting back against the other, the one that wanted nothing more than to rip out his own throat.

_SANZO!!!_

Stop, you must not go there!

_Get the hell away from me!_

No! You must stop; we have to get past this!

_You get past it, he's dead! As in never coming back and I just killed him! Where's the gun? Where's his __**fucking**__ gun? I'll put a stop to this right now!_

Goku! Son Goku! Listen to yourself! He did this! He stopped, did you not hear him? He called out for you! He wants this to end!

_I'll make it end!!_

No! This is not the way to fix this problem.

_Then what is? What the hell do I do now?!_

Come to me.

_What?!_

Come here. You must come to me; you cannot let this anger eat away your soul. He would not have wanted that.

_Screw you! I'm not going anywhere!_

If you keep on this path you will disappear, you will be forever locked in that cave he brought us out from. No sun, no moon, no stars, only darkness and despair!

_...._

Please. He stopped knowing what would happen. He did this to save you. You must come to me.

_I...I don't wanna. San..zo..._

I know. I know.

There was a blinding flash as the night peeled back, the stars suddenly drowned out by the twisting of clouds and wind. Curling in upon himself, bloody hand curled into hair, he screamed violently, eyes snapped open, pupils dilating open and closed while his entire brian was wiped clean and rewritten, a computer with the restart button hit. The sky swirled and flickered in and out, his vision following the jerky movements of time and space and finally he understood, he understood everything, was witness to everything, from the beginning to the end.

He was whole.

***

"So, chibi-saru, you all grown up now?"

He swirled at the sound, crouching protectively over Sanzo's body.

"My, my. Still part beast then are you?"

Straightening, he glanced impassively at the shadowy form, already knowing who it was that stood before him.

"Kanzeon Bosatsu, the Merciful Goddess. Your will has been fulfilled, why do you stand before us."

"'Us'?"

"We are one, we are all."

"Guardian and protector. Lord of the Lower World."

"...."

"What name do you go by then?"

"Goku. Son Goku."

"hmm...You would keep his name?"

"It is our name. We are one. We are Son Goku. You rule in the Upper World, why do you come here?"

Looking past the demon, she glanced at Sanzo's crumpled body.

"You really did it then."

"He allowed us to win. He fought bravely for the protection of all."

"I'm surprised you're so calm about his death. It doesn't pain you at all?"

"We have seen."

"'Seen?'"

"That this is not the end. He is a God, we are not. You have come to tell us something we already know."

"Well it's no fun if I can't play a bit, now is it?"

"Playing is not required to be a God."

"Look here you! Being a God _demands_ playing! Do you have any idea how _fucking_ boring it is up there?! I helped send you boys down here so you could live, but also so I would have something to do!"

"We know. You used us, you also allowed him to die, and for us to live. We are not able to bring those two ideas together; they do not make logical sense."

"They aren't supposed to make sense! I wanted you all to live! Living means taking the good with the bad! I allowed you all to follow your hearts, something Heaven wouldn't have. So what are you going to do? Will you follow orders until someone stronger manages to kill you or are you going to start living?!"

"...."

The Goddess tapped her foot impatiently, waiting while something behind the dead eyes fluttered; the shadows peeling back to allow the light of the living back in. She smiled; it was like sunbeams through the clouds that look.

"So, you better now?"

"We are still ourselves, _Aunty_."

"Oh, that one's gonna cost you kiddo." But her smile was bright as she walked over to the now kneeling Son Goku.

"You know what you can do. He's gone, but being a God has certain perks."

"Yes. We will travel. Eventually he will be given back to us. Another life that we can live together; without bars this time."

"He was a smartasses prick who liked to annoy me, but he was also my nephew once, and he's lucky to have found you a second time, I'm sure you will find him for a third. Where will you start?"

Goku gently brushed back the soft hairs from Sanzo's forehead, his fingers tingling as his body started to glow, slowly dissolving into twinkling light that floated up towards the Heavens.

"Where else?"

Raising he turn and looked out over the horizon, storm clouds dissipating, the warm light filtering through their tattered remains as he pointed.

"I'll go West."

She smiled and reached up, lightly stroking his cheek and gently placed a kiss on it.

"You know he was always a stubborn one, it might take a while."

"I will walk the Earth and back again until he is reborn. He is mine. My only Sun."

And with that he walked off. The sounds of life starting to flow around him like time.

Sighing softly she blew a kiss after them and glanced up, taking herself home.

***

She'd spend the next few years watching down on them from her chair by the pool. And as the lotuses opened to reveal a glorious sunrise in the Lower World, a crystal lake and emerald canopy, the knobby slate roots of the Bodi tree reaching up from the earth, she smiled. There was a small hand hand reaching out, shocking golden hair and large violet eyes staring as they were passed from weathered to ageless skin, the old woman placing the red chakra on his forehead with chalky umber powder.

There was no fear as that small hand took the larger clawed one. As they set out she could hear the small conversation, where are we going? A very long way. And the resulting quip about how walking would take too long, couldn't he find another way? She almost couldn't hear his mumbled comment about how some things never changed.

With a wave of her hand the water rippled out, obscuring the scene and allowing them their privacy. She'd check in on them again when he was older.

"Merciful Goddess, you look pleased."

"Yes. It looks like he finally found him."

"What name will Lord Konzen go by this time?"

"Ravi. The old lady named him Ravi."

"Ravi?"

"Apparently it means 'the sun'. I think it's perfect, a new life, a new name, and a new day for them both."

She smiled as she walked away. "Sixteen years should be long enough. I'll wait until then to go say hi." A wicked smile was stretched across her lips.

"Oh, yes, that should be plenty of time."

Fin.

AN: Ok! Does this make everyone happier?? Did it confuse you? I hope no one lynches me or anything.... *slips off and hides in the closet*


End file.
